Tamar And The Guy She Picked Up On The Side Of The Road

Believe it or not, the guy she had sex with on the side of the road was the best of the bunch …

A Heart Of Strength

Tamar’s story is one you may not be familiar with. I’ll also make a guess that at some point as you read about it now you’ll crack open your Bible (hopefully not for the first time, but probably …) because you just won’t be able to believe that her story is really in there. To put it bluntly, Tamar had a sucky life. She suffered abuse, betrayal, abandonment, false accusations, and was forced to absolute rock bottom until the men in her life finally clued in and stepped up to the plate of accountability and responsibility. At the mercy of the cultural dictates of the day, she was absolutely and completely defenseless. Called “the woman with a pathetic history” (Lockyer), Tamar truly had more to complain about than most.

Which make the lessons in her story all the more stunning. Unprotected, heathen, and literally unwanted by everyone in her life she rose to the exemplary status of being “more righteous” than the man chosen to carry on the covenantal promise of God. You see, all on her own with no one to teach her, help her or coach her, Tamar got it. Tamar discovered The One True God, believed in Him, embraced Him, and chose to dedicate her life to Him.

In doing the right thing, God honored Tamar and elevated her above all others. For you see, she joined the elite “Ancestress of Christ” club. Even though she was a heathen. Even though no one saw any value in her. Even though at one point her father – in - law thought her worth of being burned to death. God saw her goodness and value. He recognized her strength and exemplary commitment. Tamar’s story drives home the point that even if no one wants you or thinks you worthy, it’s only what God thinks that counts.

And as you read Tamar’s unbelievable story, I’ll caution you about one important thing. I pray you don’t need to go through all she did in order to gain the same critical understanding she came to. God speaks to us with a still small voice, but sometimes, if we don’t listen carefully, He might be forced to use a baseball bat. Come, learn about a woman whose life helped her grow a heart of strength.

Scripture References You Should Check Out: Genesis 38
Question to ask yourself and answer before you read any further: At your most desperate of times, who or what do you turn to?
What her name means: “Tamar” means “a palm tree”. The palm tree was one of the most important trees and evokes feelings of beauty and wealth when used as a female name.
Connections: Tamar led a frighteningly solitary life, facing tragedies, terrors and humiliations completely on her own. Along the way she discovered the companionship of The One True God. Purged by fire she came out the other side worthy of admiration. Strong and committed, she did not allow her trials to break her but instead determined to let them perfect her.
What The Bible Says About True Strength:
· Where it comes from: Exodus 15:1-3
· When we should use it first and foremost: Deuteronomy 6:5
· Why Strength Alone Will Get You Nothing: I Samuel 2:9
· Who Is Eligible To Have It: Psalm 29:11
· What Saps Your Strength: Proverbs 17:22b
· On Human Strength: Jeremiah 17:5

Questions We’ll Never Know The Answers To
Where, when and how did Tamar learn about the One True God?

Did you know? Interesting Biblical Facts About Tamar
Levirate Law: The Israelites of Biblical time honored the custom of the Levirate Law ( from the Latin word levir meaning husband’s brother) or the principle of the Kinsman Redeemer. (Deuteronomy 25:5-10) Simply stated, this custom required that should a man die before his wife conceives a son, the widow must become the wife of one of the dead man’s brothers. (Yes, in some cases this resulted in multiple wives.) The first son of such a union was considered the child of the dead brother, to carry on the dead man’s line and inherit his property.

Israelite Nation: Although it was Abraham who is considered the father of the Jewish nation, it was Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, who fathers the twelve sons that make up the twelve tribes of Israel. God renamed Jacob Israel in Genesis 32:38 because he “fought with God and man and won.” (“Israel” means “God fights”.)

Jacob’s Family: The family of Jacob/Israel consisted of twelve sons (and one daughter) which was the product of Jacob’s marriages to four women (two of them sisters). The sons, in order of their birth, were: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Napthali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulon, Joseph, and Benjamin. Now, this might surprise you (yes, you are detecting sarcasm), but the family of Jacob was somewhat dysfunctional. Despite the fact that the first son traditionally received the greatest blessing, Reuben lost the honor when he became romantically involved with one of his stepmothers. The next two in line, Simeon and Levi, were condemned by their father for the massacre of an entire town. Consequently, on Jacob’s deathbed, it was Judah who received the greatest blessing and it was through his family line that the ancestry of Christ was to be traced.

The Land of Canaan: Just to clear up any confusion the following terms all apply to the same plot of land: “The Land of Canaan” – which was the term used for the land when it was inhabited by the Canaanite people, “The Land of Israel” or “The Promised Land” – which was the title of the land when it was inhabited by the twelve tribes of Israel, “The Land of Judah and The Land of Israel” – which was when the Jewish nation divided after King Solomon’s death and the tribes of Judah and Benjamin went south (with Simeon’s tribe joining later) and all the rest of the tribes making up Israel were in the north, “Judea” – which was the Greek/Roman name for the land of Judah (“Judea” comes from the adjective “Jewish”), “Palestine” – which was the title of the land given by the Romans after the Jewish revolt of A.D. 135, and “The Holy Land” which is the modern title given to this same area today.

For all you Tamars out there…
Defining moments, crossroads of life, life-altering decisions … however you choose to label them, in retrospect, they are the stand out times of our existence: good and bad. If we are fortunate, then the good ones outweigh the bad. How’s your tally so far? Are you groaning with embarrassment right now, glad no one knows the reality of your world? Do you have any room for improvement?

Don’t let the best you have done so far be the standard for the rest of your life.
Gustavus F. Swift

Just like Eve taught us about achieving perfection, Tamar teaches us about achieving strength: strength of character, strength of faith, and strength of commitment. Physically isolated at the beginning of her Biblical tale, she was, technically, still physically isolated in the end. Tamar would always be that Canaanite girl the Judahs brought into their midst, who married two or three times (Who knew for sure? – roll your eyes), who gave birth to her father-in-law’s heir by playing the whore, and who managed to reclaim a solid if highly tarnished status in well-bred society.

But, the person that Tamar was at the start was exponentially different from the person that Tamar was at the end. She’d achieved a closer level of perfection by accepting and honoring The One True God. She’d exhibited a commendable level of courage under pressure that would put most of us to shame. And she learned the precious skill of being able to discern what was worth fighting for and what was not. Tamar learned what all of us can learn: that the things of most value are eternal.

All that is not eternal is eternally useless.
C. S. Lewis

Who Do You Rely On: When that gut wrenching panic grips your stomach, when worry invades your days and your nights, when your hearts pound with fear and trembling, when you are so filled with dread that you would rather not leave your bed let alone your home, what do you do? Who do you rely on? Perhaps you have a precious friend, or a loving mother, or a caring workmate who will listen to your tale of woe and offer some sincere insight and advice. But do you always do what they suggest? Do you then become filled with doubt as to which words of advice are sounder than the rest? Sometimes do you think that they have no idea what you’re going through; they just don’t understand what it’s like? Well Someone does understand exactly what you’re going through because He knows your heart and your mind. God would surely have known it, for He knows the secrets of every heart. (Psalm 44:21) Rely on the advice of Someone who knows you inside and out, what you’ve been, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there. Make a conscious choice to learn more about Him, abide by His rules, and listen to His still small voice. Come on; give it a try at least.

Courage/Strength: We cannot do it alone. The courage and strength that is required to survive this life on earth is not something than any one person is capable of. Circumstances and people batter us from all sides until we eventually crumble. “How come this always happens to me?” “I can’t deal with anymore stress and trouble!” “I’ve never been so afraid in all my life!” “What am I going to do?!” “I’m lost.” “I’m frightened.” “I’m alone.” Not only does the Bible promise courage and strength from God, but along with it we receive a peace that cannot be truly comprehended. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Hard Times: Every single person in this world faces hard times. No one is immune. Wealth, power, intelligence, and skill do not protect or prevent trials and tribulations. And you know what else doesn’t guarantee a life that’s a bed of roses? Being a Christian. Take a look at any person in the Bible, talk to any missionary, or consult any minister or faithful Christian person that you know. Being a Godly person doesn’t keep the hard times at bay. What being a Christian does do is give you one extra super-charged power source that the average Jane does not have. Do not diminish God’s capacity to guide, protect, and save. God is not a not a God of disorder, but of peace. (I Corinthians 14:33)

I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me,
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me…
From Everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
From, The Deer’s Path, St. Patrick,

The Best Kind of Satisfaction: We spend a major portion of our life trying to gain approval – from our parents, our mate, our superiors, our friends, our colleagues… But the reality is, the only place we should really strive for approval is from God. Does He approve of you? Of your life? Of your choices? Of your goals? Do you make Him smile? We were created, out of His great love, to bring Him pleasure through obedience and companionship. If that is not your focus, you are not on the right track.

The smile of God is the goal of your life.
Rick Warren

Faith: At some point over the course of the horrors that Tamar was experiencing, she found faith in The One True God. Rather than see what she was experiencing in the here and now, Tamar chose to look forward towards what she knew she was heading to. True faith believes in things that have not been seen or experienced. At some point Tamar chose to believe that God would see her through the fire of her life and bring her to something safe and good on the other side. While there may be many defining moments in our life, the single most imperative one is to believe in The One True God. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. I Peter 1:6-7

Homework… Who Do You Have? Your Lifelines

God should be your first and foremost source of advice and comfort in times of stress, trouble, and sorrow. You know to say that (at least after reading this chapter) even if you don’t readily do it. In addition, God also surrounds you within your life with people that He embraces and speaks to as well. Someone took the time to speak with Tamar, answer her questions, and patiently guide her to the point where she could believe. Besides seeking out God through prayer, Bible study, and church attendance, you should consciously work to surround yourself with people who give you sound advice. Guidance that would cause God to smile and nod His head in agreement. Choices that would make you so strong that you become almost invincible against anything the world has to throw at you.

Who has God provided for you in your life? In your work? Now, don’t panic. It’s quality that’s best, not quantity. One sound person is better than ten damaged ones. Plus, you are much better off recognizing a void in one or more areas of your life and making wise choices to fill them in than grinning like a Cheshire cat oblivious to the sinking ship your happily rowing.

Would God agree with those people you surround yourself with? Pretend it was up to God to choose your top three in each area of your life: personal, worldly, professionally, and spiritual. Who would He pick? Write those names down in your heart. Take time to pray and be thankful for what you’ve got, to pray and ask for guidance to fill in gaps and, most importantly, to pray and ask God to give both yourself and these lifelines wisdom in all that is said, thought, and done.

You are truly blessed if your lists have:
· Your mother and/or father
· Your mate
· The same person listed more than once

This is an excerpt from the chapter “Tamar and The Guy She Picked Up On The Side Of The Road” from Sue's book: Biblical Women And Who They Hooked Up With available in print or electronic media at her http://www.lulu.com/ store: http://www.lulu.com/content/884852 Would you like to receive it as a free ebook? Email your request to Sue at: susanmcgeown@faithinspiredbooks.com and she'll be happy to send you a free copy!

You, Your Heart, and Your Life

The World vs. The Promise

The way of this world draws us in the opposite direction from God’s own heart.

The love of God pays no attention to the distinctions made by natural individuality.
Oswald ChambersIn fact, despite the apparent value of our heart, we seem to spend a significant part of our life trying to mask, ignore, or downright disobey it, don’t we? We are repeatedly embarrassed by personal qualities that make us unique from others. “I wish I wasn’t so outspoken …” We regularly don’t value our own worth and let others redefine it to their standards. “I thought it was a good idea, but everyone else …” We allow ourselves to become involved in situations that do not afford us the respect we deserve. “I knew it was a mistake when he invited me back to his apartment, but …” We doubt ourselves and what we know to be right. “I know it wasn’t the best thing to do, but …”

We ignore our heart and in doing so we distance ourselves from God.

We ignore our heart and in doing so we accumulate mistakes, failures, and missed opportunities that keep us from forging positively ahead into the future.

We ignore our heart and in doing so we loose sight of the person God wants us to be.

We ignore our heart and miss joyful experiences that we are meant to have.

We ignore our heart and in doing so do not fulfill the job that only we are capable of doing.

We ignore our heart and end up in a place that is sad, dark, lonely, and hopeless.

Our job here on this earth is to continually ‘shore up’ our heart: get it right, make it strong, start anew, and become improved … GROW. The Bible addresses that, too. “Becoming a new person” affords those of us with a past as bleak as a burned out forest the opportunity to get away from the smoke and ash. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states clearly, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

God wants you beyond your resources so you have to depend on Him and His resources.
Rev. Dr. Todd Buurstra

We human beings just don’t appreciate the magnitude of this promise. We repeatedly don’t believe it nor do we take advantage of it. “My whole life is and always will be a disaster.” “I’ve got things in my past that are too big to forget.” “I’ve got bad luck.” “I don’t believe in fairy tales.” “I’ve got issues.” The first step to a changed heart is to step out on faith and believe. Eliminate “but” from your vocabulary. Give God the opportunity to show you what your life can be like.

Rationalize this for me: if God is willing to forgive and forget everything bad about you and your past, why can’t you? Usually it’s because forgiving and forgetting involves making conscious decisions to change for the better. It means becoming proactive towards your future and taking the necessary steps to ensure your success. What you must come to understand at some point along the way is that your refusal to let go of past disasters, the continuation over and over again to make the same mistakes, and your failure to accept the responsibility for your life becomes your very own … tombstone. (Sorry, but someone’s got to tell you.) Aside from prayer, reading, studying and applying the Word of God is the single most influential way towards becoming a person after “God’s own heart”.

The Bible and You

Besides the date, the Bible is chock full of the most private personal details of people who were just like us except for the lack of electricity and indoor plumbing. They’ve gone through it all and left behind a rather amazing account of how often and how gloriously they blew it. As well as, every now and then, how they got it right. All of their most private and personal mistakes, failures, sorrows, and bad deeds are spelled out for us in glorious back and white text to read, chuckle over, pompously shake our heads in disbelief, and … hopefully … learn from. Rick Warren said, “While it is wise to learn from experience, it is even wiser to learn from the experience of others.” Here’s a question for you: “How wise are you?”

Reading the Bible is like looking into your sister’s journal. It gives you the opportunity to live vicariously through another person’s life that is perhaps more exciting or appealing than our own. It allows us to see, up close and personal, what secrets some people have deep inside that they would never ever share with anyone. It permits us to see just how bad and just how good things can really be. It teaches us what should be important in our God given life and what should be ignored.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

For you see, the men and women of the Bible experienced all the same things we do today: stupidity, lust, jealousy, hatred, fear, loneliness, worthlessness, sorrow and true love. They also battled with the same internal and external pressures that we struggle with today: money troubles, poor self confidence, illness, doubt, bad people who wanted to do mean things to them … There is not one situation that we face today that someone hasn’t had to deal with already in the biblical journal account. Why not take the opportunity and learn from someone else’s mistakes as well as successes?

Which brings us full circle to my initial points. All relationships you have in your life – good or bad – are a direct window into you and your heart. What do you think about that comment?

The collection of people that surround you shout loud and clear the condition of your heart. People are often quick to give excuses as to why that statement isn’t accurate. But let’s face it; the people that you are attracted to (romantically and just as friends) are specifically linked to your very own individual make-up. Some people appeal, some do not, and what you are internally is what is the deciding factor.

How about this quote from the website Despair.com: “The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you.” How terrifying is that quote? The first time I read it, it struck me as quite funny. But then, after its brutal frankness began to sink in with me, I took a big gulp and rather hesitantly began to reflect back on my rather dismal personal track record of personal relationships over the years.

May this journey bring a blessing,
May I rise on wings of faith;
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.
Margaret Becker

What do people see when they look into your personality window? What do you say to others about yourself in the way you live your life? These are hard questions that whether you choose to face them or not, in then end will be the reality of what people think of you. You can ignore these questions but the impact of the answers will not go away.

The purpose of Biblical Women And Who They Hooked Up With is to give you the opportunity to peek into some very personal diary entries and read about all the disasters that would never be spoken about and maybe learning something in the process. Give your heart a thorough examination and …

• Apply some of the lessons.



• Do a little thoughtful introspection.



• Examine the quality of your heart.



• Realign your priorities.



• Fix what’s broken.



• Strengthen what’s weak.



• Find what’s lost.



• Make God smile a bit.

Come on, what have you got to loose? Or, better yet, what have you got to gain?

This is an excerpt from Sue's book: Biblical Women And Who They Hooked Up With available at her http://www.lulu.com/ store: http://www.lulu.com/content/884852

The Facts vs. The Reality

Every relationship in your life past, present, and future is directly related to the state of your heart. That means who you love and who you hate, who you are repulsed by and who you are drawn to, who you befriend and who you choose to call enemy is all wrapped up with the internal, invisible, mysterious part of you. There is no exception to this rule. We call this “core” of ourselves, our heart.

The state of your heart is the very essence of who you are as an individual. That means the reason people love you or hate you, seek you out or avoid you, trust or mistrust you is totally reliant on the person you project to the world. While other people’s hearts and the image they project to the world are also viable factors in any relationship, if you are almost always the one who is wronged, abandoned, angered, unloved, avoided, fired, accused, or left out then that is a pretty big personal message about you and the condition of your heart. Life is not about lousy coincidences or bad luck. There is no such thing.

I’m just an old chunk of coal,
But I’m going to be a diamond some day.
Billy Joe Shaver

Who you are as an individual is matchless, one of a kind. That means you’re priceless. Irreplaceable. It means that all the qualities that you have inside you from your ability to remember the exact words to every top forties song that’s ever been sung to your inability to understand even the rudimentary concepts of basic algebra are all part of the precious person that you are. It’s all necessary.

The unique person that you are is a precise design carefully and specifically created by God. That means that the way you are is the way God wants you to be. More than that, God planned for your existence and the very person you were born to be with all the precision that a rocket scientist puts into his or her life’s work. Not only are all your talents and foibles accurate, they were desired and planned for to make you the person God needed you to be today.

God does not make mistakes. That means that the very person that you are as you sit and read this is exactly the person God needs you to be. The person that gets pure enjoyment from spending hours upon hours being lost in the magic of painting a picture. The person who is poetry in motion cooking up a spur of the moment meal using just the leftovers in the family fridge. The person who can listen to a car engine and know exactly what is making that funny rattle. The person that needs to only hear a person’s name once and never forgets it. In addition, your weaknesses are the very areas in which God intends to show His greatest strengths. Your talents are the very tools in which God intends to show you your greatest joy. Your passions and loves are the directions in which God intends to lead you on this journey called life. You’ve got everything you need to succeed.

The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.
Blaise Pascal

So why are people so unhappy? While we spend precious parts of our life dreaming of what we wish we could be, we miss out on the greatness of what we are already. Why do so many people feel lost? It’s all about the state of our hearts. Our hearts lack faith, self-confidence, belief, trust, strength, commitment … We might talk the talk but we don’t always walk the walk. “I believe, it’s just …” “I know we’re supposed to have faith, but …” “I’m never good at …” “I have trouble sticking to …” More often than not we are more steadfast in our excuses as to why we can’t then why we can.

Our heart, when spoken of in the Bible, is the special thing that makes us unique and precious from all of God’s other creations. It is from “deep in your heart” where “true knowledge exists” (Joshua 23:14). According to Job, instinct comes from the mind but intuition comes from the heart (Job 38:36). The animal world is loaded with instinctual behaviors while we human beings are pretty helpless right from the start. But this ability to be intuitive – knowing or sensing or understanding something without being able to rationally explain it all - ratchets us right up there to the top of the earthly living population. Only we have the ability to function according to our own free will. In giving us the ability to choose how we live, God gave only us the ability to please or disappoint Him.

Only us.

Biblical author Amos said, “For the Lord is the one who shaped the mountains, stirs up the winds, and reveals his thoughts to mankind.” (Amos 4:13b). We’re the only creatures God talks to and reveals His thoughts to. Whispers His desires and plans. Gives His instructions and commands. He does this through the inside being that we are – our heart.

Only us.

It’s your inside person that God looks at and values. He could care less about your job title, your bank account balance, or the number of wrinkles you have on your face. The Bible talks about this inside and outside concept a lot. Samuel as he searched for Israel’s new king was told specifically not to judge by appearance alone.

People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
I Samuel 16:7b

Isaiah states clearly that Christ will “not judge by appearance nor make a decision based on hearsay.” (Isaiah 11:3) The truth of whom you are inside is all that He cares about and it’s where all of the most important things that He has given you come from. Not only does God delight in your uniqueness, He specifically desires for you to be one of a kind. He doesn’t want you to be like anyone else because He already thinks you’re exactly the way He wants you.
This life we live is one gigantic testing ground where we fumble and grope to succeed. And whether we are born rich, handicapped, talented, intelligent, or disadvantaged I firmly believe that the course of a lifetime pretty much levels the playing field for all of us. For you see, the measure of a person’s true success is not determined by the world’s standards but by God’s. The promise of salvation through Christ is the great equalizer. Our success is not dependant on anything but the choice we make or don’t make to have Him at the center of … you guessed it … our heart.

Once we choose the correct spiritual path, the different tools we have in our spiritual toolbox helps us refine the person God needs us to be. Are we using our God-given talents for Him? Are we utilizing those things that we enjoy doing towards godly pursuits? Does the primary way that I spend my time have a God-related tone to it? Am I making God smile?

My worth to God in public is what I am in private.
Oswald Chambers

Sigh. The human race hasn’t done a very good job in the listening and pleasing department. Right off the bat when the evilness of mankind got so bad “that every inclination of the thoughts of mankind’s heart was only evil all the time” (Genesis 6:5) God regretted ever making mankind saying specifically, “it broke His heart”. (Genesis 6:6)

On the flip side, “heart’s desires” (Job 17:11) are the most precious things we could imagine having or achieving. Only those whose hearts are “true and right” are the ones whom God shields and protects (Psalm 7:10). Finally, a person “after God’s own heart” (I Samuel 13:14) is the epitome of mankind’s God directed goals.

Obviously, from the biblical perspective the heart is the definitive way to measure a person’s credibility and worthiness. So, I’ll ask you: How’re your insides? Or, more specifically, are you a person “after God’s own heart”?

This is an excerpt from Sue's book: Biblical Women And Who They Hooked Up With available at her http://www.lulu.com/ store: http://www.lulu.com/content/884852

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